Confessions

October 1, 2008 at 11:44 am 2 comments

Okay, so I guess it’s time to ‘fess up.  I’ve really been struggling with this blog.  I’ve been disappointed in what I’ve written so far and it just feels like I haven’t found my own voice yet.  I was thinking about all of this earlier today and realizes that I was trying to use my everyday life as blog inspiration when in reality it’s not all that inspiring.  This brought me to the conclusion that I need to write about things that are important to me and to only use day to day life when it is exciting. 

Even though I have been a haphazard poster at best, I’m still a very loyal reader and semi-frequent commenterof other peoples blogs.  Molly’s post at “These Little Moments” yesterday asked about songs that make you cry.  It instantly made me think of the song “Daddy’s Girl” by Red Sovine.  ( I don’t know if anyone else would even know it – VERY old country song).  As I mentioned in my comments on Molly’s post, I always hoped to use this song for the father-daughter dance at my wedding, but so far have been unable to find a copy of it (I’m also afraid that I will sob through the whole thing).  I did end up finding a copy of it on You Tube and managed to listed to 15 or 20 seconds before bursting into tears and making my assistant think I was in the throes of a hormone induced PMS breakdown.  Every time I even think about that song it just makes me think about how much I love my dad. 

I am not and never will be someone who denies being daddy’s girl.  As long as I can remember I have wanted to be like him.  He has always been full of tough love and worked hard to instill a healthy fear of authority into my brother and I.  While he wasn’t always the most easygoing, he was always the first person to tell me how proud he was of me and I always knew that he loved me and wanted the best for me.  My dad always worked hard to support our family and give us a comfortable life.  He wanted to be able to give my brother and I the things he never had. 

My dad is the strongest man I know.  He is capable and smart and has always taken pride in performing a job well.  The only time I ever saw my dad break down was when I was 14 and he was let go from a job he had held for over 20 years.  And he didn’t cry for himself, but because he didn’t want us to suffer any sort of hardship because of it.  I knew part of him probably felt like he had failed us, but I never felt that way.  I was so proud of him for starting over in a small town.  He showed courage and grace that will forever be an inspiration to me.  He is a man who I strive to be like.  I strive for his strength, his notion of truth and justice, his sense of fairness and equality, and his empathy and compassion.  He is loyal and dedicated, honest and upstanding.  He takes pride in the life he has made for himself and his family. 

If I am able to show my children just one tenth of everything my father has done for me and sacrificed for me, I will consider parenthood a success. 

Thanks dad for molding me into the person I am today while giving me room to grow.  As proud as you say you are to have me as your daughter, I am even more proud that you are my dad.  I won the dad lottery and I will always be your little girl.

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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. fritz  |  October 1, 2008 at 7:15 pm

    reading that gave me goosebumps about my dad! i should probably call him tonight!

  • 2. juliennejiggs  |  October 1, 2008 at 9:38 pm

    Aww, glad to see someone else is a daddy’s girl! Call him, do it!!

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