Happy Birthday

January 14, 2009 at 6:00 am Leave a comment

Happy Birthday to the boy who broke my heart.

You were my best friend.  You chased me and I ran as far as I could.  I kept you at arms length because I was terrified that we would ruin our friendship.  I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle having my heart broken by you.  I was so reluctant and still you pursued.  Hot chocolate brought to my dorm room at 2 am because I had a sore throat, poems when I missed a day of class, bringing me Cheerios for breakfast on my birthday because it was the one cereal the cafeteria didn’t have.

That night you asked me to talk and I told you I was busy.  You called my bluff and our relationship hesitantly began. 

Within weeks I was surprised by how easy it was.  Within a few months we were in love and it was better than I ever could have imagined.  We laughed, we loved, we spent every spare minute together.  We were inseperable and I couldn’t imagine anything better than falling in love with your best friend.  We were standing in the produce section when you leaned over and whispered, “I’m going to marry you someday”.  Those words put my on cloud nine for weeks.  I fell in love with your family and friends and you did the same. 

We spent every holiday showering each other with love and gifts.  On our third anniversary you planned a trip to somewhere I had always wanted to go, complete with a suite with an incredible view, 5-star restaurant and valet parking.  You had even packed a dress for me to wear for dinner.  That day it never crossed my mind that we wouldn’t see 4 years. 

A few months later I went to your house and found you sitting and the foot of your bed with tears in your eyes.  You wouldn’t say anything and you couldn’t look at me and that’s when I knew.  Tears began streaming down my face.  I could hear my heart pounding in my ears.  I couldn’t catch my breath.  It felt like I was drowning.  You kept saying that this wasn’t supposed to happen, not to us.  Hearing those words made me want to scream.  It was your choice – you were making it happen.  You cried and cried.  You shirt was soaked with tears and I tried to console you even though I felt like my heart was in the back of my throat.  I couldn’t stand to see you in pain.  I loved you.

I asked if you were sure because there wouldn’t be any second chances.  You said you were.  I asked if there was someone else.  You said there wasn’t.  I said I should go.  You walked me to my car.  I said goodbye and pressed my lips to yours.  I haven’t seen you since.

The boy who had been my best friend and partner had changed his mind.

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