Alliteration?
Alex: (while flicking through the four television channels we have) Hmm, I wonder if Marmot Mansion is on.
Jules: You mean Meerkat Manor?
Alex: Yes! That one!
Jules: They’re not quite the same thing you know.
Meerkat
MARMOT!
TPS Reports
I am having a case of the Thursdays. Some days I like my job, most days I tolerate my job because it allows me to drive around a shiny new car. Yesterday I loathed my job. For the most part I enjoy the slackerly tendencies of my office and its casual nature, but unfortunately this also leads to people not really having a concrete jon description and my day can range from “We would like you to write a report that dpending on how well you defend us will either cost us 250 times your salary, or save us a few bucks in the long run” to “If you have time, can you pick up some more toilet paper?”. Yeah, I’m all over the toilet paper. I think I can delegate the rest of the stuff you mentioned. And so it began that yesterday was a toilet paper day.
A co-worker in a different branch needed some paperwork and I told her where to find it online. Five minutes later another co-worker called and asked for the same paperwork because they REALLY need it NOW. I told her that I had already told co-worker #1 where it was on-line. Co-worker #2 then asked if I could just e-mail them the link to save them having to look around for it. Okay, this bugged me a little because I already TOLD you and now you are making me WRITE it out but then I thought, hey some people are visual learners and apparently can’t use those things on the side of their head – oh yeah, their f*ing ears!
I put together an e-mail with a link to the page to find the file, as well as the actual file (I know, I know, teach a man to fish…I didn’t have time to teach!) as well as instructions that say “There is an additional form you may need that I do not have a copy of, but if you do need it, call the other branch and tell co-worker #3 to fax you one of the forms that are in Folder ‘Insert Name Here’, and it’s in the top drawer of the filing cabinet”. Seems explicit enough.
Ten minutes after I send the e-mail co-worker #3 calls and says “Co-worker #1 and #2 are looking for some file. Where would I find it?”
BAHHHHH!
The End.
Confessions
Okay, so I guess it’s time to ‘fess up. I’ve really been struggling with this blog. I’ve been disappointed in what I’ve written so far and it just feels like I haven’t found my own voice yet. I was thinking about all of this earlier today and realizes that I was trying to use my everyday life as blog inspiration when in reality it’s not all that inspiring. This brought me to the conclusion that I need to write about things that are important to me and to only use day to day life when it is exciting.
Even though I have been a haphazard poster at best, I’m still a very loyal reader and semi-frequent commenterof other peoples blogs. Molly’s post at “These Little Moments” yesterday asked about songs that make you cry. It instantly made me think of the song “Daddy’s Girl” by Red Sovine. ( I don’t know if anyone else would even know it – VERY old country song). As I mentioned in my comments on Molly’s post, I always hoped to use this song for the father-daughter dance at my wedding, but so far have been unable to find a copy of it (I’m also afraid that I will sob through the whole thing). I did end up finding a copy of it on You Tube and managed to listed to 15 or 20 seconds before bursting into tears and making my assistant think I was in the throes of a hormone induced PMS breakdown. Every time I even think about that song it just makes me think about how much I love my dad.
I am not and never will be someone who denies being daddy’s girl. As long as I can remember I have wanted to be like him. He has always been full of tough love and worked hard to instill a healthy fear of authority into my brother and I. While he wasn’t always the most easygoing, he was always the first person to tell me how proud he was of me and I always knew that he loved me and wanted the best for me. My dad always worked hard to support our family and give us a comfortable life. He wanted to be able to give my brother and I the things he never had.
My dad is the strongest man I know. He is capable and smart and has always taken pride in performing a job well. The only time I ever saw my dad break down was when I was 14 and he was let go from a job he had held for over 20 years. And he didn’t cry for himself, but because he didn’t want us to suffer any sort of hardship because of it. I knew part of him probably felt like he had failed us, but I never felt that way. I was so proud of him for starting over in a small town. He showed courage and grace that will forever be an inspiration to me. He is a man who I strive to be like. I strive for his strength, his notion of truth and justice, his sense of fairness and equality, and his empathy and compassion. He is loyal and dedicated, honest and upstanding. He takes pride in the life he has made for himself and his family.
If I am able to show my children just one tenth of everything my father has done for me and sacrificed for me, I will consider parenthood a success.
Thanks dad for molding me into the person I am today while giving me room to grow. As proud as you say you are to have me as your daughter, I am even more proud that you are my dad. I won the dad lottery and I will always be your little girl.
The Big Read
Key
1) Bold the books you have already read
2) Italicize the books you intend to read
3) Personally added: Notes in parentheses next to note-worthy titles.
1) Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
2) The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
3) Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte (currently reading. And just like “She Likes Purple” whose blog I have just begun reading and who I stole this idea from, I also read Wide Sargasso Sea first!)
4) Harry Potter series by J. K. Rowling (I’ve spent many years avoiding these).
5) To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (I didn’t read this until this past year and I loved every minute of it).
6) The Bible
7) Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
8) Nineteen Eighty Four by George Orwell
9) His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman
10) Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
11) Little Women by Louisa May Alcott (I read this in third grade – I picked the biggest book in my elementary school library. It took me the whole year but I got through it).
12) Tess of the D’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
13) Catch 22 by Joseph Heller
14) Complete Works of Shakespeare (Two years of a Shakespeare specialization…enough said).
15) Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier
16) The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien
17) Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks
18) Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger
19) The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
20) Middlemarch by George Eliot
21) Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell
22) The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
23) Bleak House by Charles Dickens
24) War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
25) The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
26) Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh
27) Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28) Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
29) Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
30) The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
31) Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
32) David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
33) Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis
34) Emma by Jane Austen
35) Persuasion by Jane Austen
36) The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe by CS Lewis
37) The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
38) Captain Corelli’s Mandolin by Louis De Bernieres
39) Memories of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
40) Winnie the Pooh by AA Milne
41) Animal Farm by George Orwell
42) The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
43) One Hundred Years of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44) A Prayer for Owen Meaney by John Irving
45) The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins
46) Anne of Green Gables by LM Montgomery
47) Far From The Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy
48) The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
49) Lord of the Flies by William Golding
50) Atonement by Ian McEwan
51) Life of Pi by Yann Martel
52) Dune by Frank Herbert
53) Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons
54) Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen (Can you tell I took a Jane Austen course in university?)
55) A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth
56) The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57) A Tale Of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
58) Brave New World by Aldous Huxley (Huxley is one of my favourites – I also recommend “The Island”).
59) The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon
60) Love In The Time Of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61) Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
62) Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
63) The Secret History by Donna Tartt
64) The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
65) Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
66) On The Road by Jack Kerouac
67) Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy
68) Bridget Jones’s Diary by Helen Fielding
69) Midnight’s Children by Salman Rushdie
70) Moby Dick by Herman Melville (Read this one in university. Our professor actually gave us a list of certain pages to read but I thought if I’m reading any of it, I want to be able to say I read the whole thing. I struggled through it and can honestly say it is one of the worst reading experiences I have ever had).
71) Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
72) Dracula by Bram Stoker (No, but watched the movie with Wynona Rider recently. VERY weird movie).
73) The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
74) Notes From A Small Island by Bill Bryson
75) Ulysses by James Joyce
76) The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath (Loved it).
77) Swallows and Amazons by Arthur Ransome
78) Germinal by Emile Zola
79) Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray
80) Possession by AS Byatt
81) A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
82) Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell
83) The Color Purple by Alice Walker
84) The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro
85) Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
86) A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry
87) Charlotte’s Web by EB White
88) The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom
89) Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90) The Faraway Tree Collection by Enid Blyton
91) Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
92) The Little Prince by Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93) The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks
94) Watership Down by Richard Adams
95) A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
96) A Town Like Alice by Nevil Shute
97) The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas
98) Hamlet by William Shakespeare
99) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl (A very long time ago. Makes me think it’s worth re-reading).
100) Les Miserables by Victor Hugo
So – are there any that I should be reading and that I’m totally missing out on? Let me know!
The universe certainly has a sense of humour…
So not more than 48 hours after I post about feeling somewhat restless at my current place of employment do I get a job offer – out of nowhere. And while it’s not an official offer (more of a “we’re looking for someone and thought of you, you interested?”) it definitely makes me think. The company I work for bagged it’s biggest contract EVER just yesterday and since we’ve gotten that contract I’ve been super excited just because I know what a challenge it’s going to be. This new contract almost made me instantly say “thanks, but no thanks” to the offer, but now I’m thinking that I at least need to spend a couple of days mulling it over. The offer would mean a job in my field, while working for a company I’m familiar with. The downfall would be being five hours away from Alex permanently, and as we talk more about moving forward with our relationship it just seems like that would leave us stuck where we are.
We’ve been in a long distance relationship for nearly three years because we both travel for work (and are involved in the same field). We’ve been talking about buying a house together because it would mean somewhere to come home to on weekends that was ours. And it makes sense financially when money is being thrown away on rent. The problem is, I was raised very conservatively and I never pictured myself living with someone, especially not buying a house with someone before I got married. The problem is that Alex has always said that he wouldn’t propose until we lived together – something that makes me feel like in order to get what I want I have to play by his rules, and that’s not fair. And I still sometimes wonder if it is what I want. I’m 24 and I really shouldn’t be in a rush to settle down, but I feel like time is passing me by. As I see friends getting married and having kids I realize just how much I want that. Not right this second, but I want to at least know that it’s in the near future. And I know with Alex it will be, as long as I play by his rules. I know he wants to marry me, but I wonder if he is more sure than I am. I know everyone has doubts, but I wonder how you know when your doubts are just too much?
Who needs a career anyway?
I think most people my age (24 going on 25) struggle with the concept of what to do for the rest of their lives. Life isn’t as simple as it used to be, especially when dealing with jobs and “careers”. My parents graduated and were expected to find a job. Many of those jobs granted security for life and few people ever strayed from that. Now it seems like the tables have turned. People no longer content to go to work everyday just because it pays the bills. A job just isn’t good enough anymore. People want a career. I confess I am “people”.
When I get stressed out about work Alex is constantly telling me that it’s just a job, but I can’t look at it like that. Even though I know the current job I hold will not be a lifelong endeavour, I know that I want to be respected for being competent and doing my job well – whatever that job may be. (Note the irony while I write this post at work – haha). Sometimes I wonder though – have we all been brainwashed by the corporate mindset that is so pervasive in North America? Really, it is just a job. It’s not what defines me or determines my self-worth. I should be able to leave work at the end of the day and just leave it there. I shouldn’t stress about the to-do list that gets longer everyday or have dreams about letters I forgot to send (which I had in fact remembered). But I do worry about these things, and I think we all do.
I went to school for five years (not because it took me that long to do a 4 year program, it was actually a 5 year!) learning how to best protect the environment and I only spend 1% of my time actually doing that. Maybe my stress would be more justified if I was working more in my field and making a contribution that I was more proud of. But part of me feels guilty for even thinking these things because I really don’t have it all that bad. I work for a company that has been nothing but good to me and truly believes in me. I work with great people who make me laugh everyday and my job allows me to live a comfortable life financially and has allowed me to pay off more than half of my student debt in a year. But it also makes me wonder if I have become a slave to a pay cheque. I know that at this point, my pay needs to continually increase in order to keep up with the inevitable car payments, mortgages, weddings and children that are heading my way. I know that if I want to make a change I need to do it NOW before I have any more financial commitments. The problem is that I’m comfortable where I am now. It’s like lying in bed on a Saturday morning when the sheets are the perfect temperature and you know you should get up, but you want to sleep just a little longer. I know right now I’m slowly waking up, but I may need to hit the snooze button just a few more times.
Toothbrushes and Q-Tips
Never, EVER attempt to clean your ears with a Q-Tip while brushing your teeth. I apparently can’t move my hands independently and when I pushed the toothbrush to brush my back teeth, I also JAMMED the Q-Tip into my ear. Holy hannah, the pain. I thought I was going to pass out. So kids, toothbrushes and Q-Tips do not mix!
Jules vs. Alex – Part 1
While Alex and I are discussing home ownership,
J: “You just want to buy a house with me to trap me. If I get a mortgage with you it’ll be a lot harder to just take off and leave you in the middle of the night.”
A: “You know it babe. I’d be knocked up by now if I could.”
CLASSY.
And you are?
I think the random quirks are the most interesting parts of everyone – so I guess that the best way is to tell you about myself is to randomly pick an on-line personality test. The lucky winner is entitled “How Much of Your Life Have You Messed Up?” (This should be good……)
1) Have you ever said you loved someone and didn’t mean it?
Okay, I’m just going to blurt this one out….yes. But before anyone gets judgey (yes, I’ve decided it’s a word) – I was 17 and in a long distance relationship. I had decided that it wasn’t working out and that I wanted to break things off but I didn’t want to have to tell him over the phone, so I told him I loved him on the phone every night for a week before he came to see me on the weekend and I could actually break up with him in person. And quite honestly? No regrets about it.
2) Have you ever been suspended from school?
Um, no. I was a total “smart kid” in all levels of school, and never got into trouble. I was never even sent to the principal’s office – ever. My only slight act of rebellion was in kindergarten. Matt (who I am still friends with) was building a block tower and this girl Kristin kicked part of it over. I happened to be mad at Matt that day because he wouldn’t play house with me so I told him I would help him fix it and proceeded to kick the rest of it over. It didn’t take much to scare me straight – I had to stay in from recess and decided a life of crime just wasn’t for me.
3) Have you ever cheated on a test?
Please refer to answer #2. I was way too chicken to even attempt cheating on tests. What if I got caught and it ruined my GPA? No way was it worth it. I didn’t have quote such “upstanding” friends though. My friend Tyler was a drinker even in high school and proceeded to write all of the answers for our geography test on his beer gut. It definitely wasn’t the smartest idea ever and he definitely got caught. This is also the friend who only has a good weekend if he’s spent a night of it in the drunk tank, so I guess none of this should be shocking.
4) Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to?
Even with all of the previous goody-goody answers, the answer to this question is yes! When I was in high school our neighbours were going on vacation for a couple of weeks and asked if I would be able to feed their cat every night. It worked well for about three days before I lost the keys to their house. Cut to me trying to pry their basement window open with a screwdriver when the police drive by. Difficult to explain, but I batted my eyelashes and twirled my hair and talked my way out of that sucker.
5) Have you ever had drugs/alcohol below the legal age?
I’m still a non-drinker, it’s just something that has never agreed with me so I’ve always been the willing Designated Driver. And call me crazy, but is there a legal age for drugs? If there is, I’ve been missing out!
6) Have you ever been involved in gang violence?
I don’t really quite know what to make of this question. I think the answer to this is obvious and we should just be moving on….
7) Do your friends do some disapproving things?
Only the fun ones! And isn’t that part of the reason you’re friends with people? So they can do crazy shit and then you can live vicariously and record-free through them?
8) Have you ever had an eating disorder?
As someone who now considers themselves a “Clean Eater” and a bit of a gym rat I’m sad to confess to this one. As a girl who grew up figure skating, the pressure to be thin and tiny was always there, as were coaches who were always telling you to lose “just a little more weight”. But, my love of food was a problem and I found throwing up a whole lot easier than starving myself. It lasted about two years, and I’m lucky enough that it never seriously endangered my health.
9) Do you regret anything you have done?
I don’t. Instead I regret things I haven’t done, which is a lesson in itself.
The rest of the quiz just gets more and more depressing and that wasn’t my intention – I PROMISE! So here’s the rundown. I’m 24 and nearing my quarter-life crisis. I’ve been out of school for a year and working at a well-paying job that pays the bills, but is by no means a dream job. I work crazy long stressful hours in order to pay off student loans. Courtesy of Jim Halpert, “Right now this is just a job. If I advance any higher in this company, then this would be my career. And well, if this were my career I’d have to throw myself in front of a train.” Unfortunately I’m already considered management, so there may be some train-throwing in the near future.
I’ve been in a serious relationship with Alex for almost three years. When it’s good it’s great and when it’s bad it’s brutal. Right now we happen to be in an upswing, which means fewer relationship-related rampages for the viewers! Although the rampages may make for good reading. I love him a lot, but I still question whether it’s a forever-kind of love or a still-young-and-figuring-things-out kind of love. Even on the bad days he can make me laugh and that’s something that I can’t imagine being without. I think the hardest part seems is that he’s just not the “type” of guy I pictured myself with. He’s more “the wrong side of the tracks” than “the boy next door”. I know I need to get over that fantasy and realize that he’s a great guy and I’m lucky that he picked me.
All in all, I’m content but my life isn’t exactly how I pictured it would be. Is it ever though? Do things ever turn out exactly how we had planned them when we were five years old? If that was true I would be married and living in the city in a cute little house with a husband who wears a suit to work. (I never really thought of a career for my pretend-husband, just anything that included a suit!) Instead, I travel for work and am constantly in and out of rented corporate apartments and hotels and my boyfriend makes deals to avoid ever having to wear a tie. But, even though it’s not what I pictured – it’s all mine and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Kissing the Asses of the Internets
I think everyone basically begins their first blog post with the inevitable “why I started blogging” info, so here goes. I basically stumbled upon my first blog about a year ago and got drawn into everyone posting their own stories, and receiving a metric (yes, metric – I’m Canadian) shitload of support from the blogging community and felt guilty for doing a whole lot of reading and no dishing of my own. I also got sick of having to leave “anonymous” comments and having people probably wonder “who the hell is this creeper?”. The more I read and saw how connected everyone is, the more I felt like I wanted to share and maybe – just maybe have one of the great writers that I have lurked for the past while possibly comment on one of my posts. So, in a sickeningly pathetic effort to have the internets love me – here go the shout outs (in no particular order!) –
Single Girl in the City – Reading this while being in a relationship with a guy who has some definite Joe-tendencies makes me feel like I have a kindred spirit. Like really? Leaving your underwear on the kitchen floor – completely unacceptable. And responding that you do it because you know it drives me crazy and saying that you would have picked it up but I picked it up first? That shit makes me want to pull my hair out. I’ll kick your ass Joe Jr.
Favourite quote: “Relationships are not PC and you are allowed to pursue a mate that meets your standards without feeling judged or bad about it. Dating is not an equal-opportunity sport. It’s just not and it never will be. ACCEPT IT.” (Single Girl in the City).
Molly – the Shoeru. A girl after my own heart, who seems to have an incredible fiancée, an incredible dog and an incredible shoe collection that I lust over (just the shoes, and the dog – not so much the fiancée). And any girl that can post about being super-disgruntled about her deodorant being discontinued? Totally okay, because mine (yet another Secret variety) has also gone AWOL. Don’t they realize consumers of the female variety are infinitely loyal? And that it’s inhumane to force us to resort to buying crates of deodorant on Ebay, that we’re hoping are new?
Most-like-me quote: So here I am, pondering where my adolescence went and wearing my stockings and crossing my fingers that I don’t put a run in them. I can totally see a quarter-life crisis in my future (Molly).
(My mother and I have battles of epic proportions whenever she sees me at some family event and I am not wearing stockings. I REFUSE. They always run in the most awkward places (never on the ass or anything, where they are COVERED but always mid-calf) and who needs to feel like they have a pair of underwear hanging somewhere around the mid-thigh area? And what is up with the sizing charts? How are those supposed to be anywhere close to accurate?)
Leah – The girl who seems to be as free-spirited, yet as content as I long to be, and also lives a warm climate which serves to only increase my envy. The sweet and playful nature of her relationship with Simon is what I wish for – someone who understands me and accepts me, quirks and all (something I see glimpses of with the boyfriend, but want to see more of). I’m also increasingly jealous of her talent with photography – something I’ve always wished I had the eye for.
There’s no way I can pick a favourite quote – she always seems to sum things up so eloquently and just well, perfectly.
Slynnro – Fucking People…haha. Can’t hide my love for this one. Being someone who constantly wonders “What are they THINKING?” loves seeing someone else who does the same. People are crazy and don’t even realize it and their words and actions become fodder for ME to relate to friends and family. And also – the gym? There are rules people – wear deodorant, never go right beside someone if there are empty machines and PLEASE don’t grunt and groan while you are lifting 20 lbs you big strong man. Oh, and doing back extensions on an exercise ball? It makes you look like you’re humping it which no one needs to see at 5:30 in the morning.
Favourite: the nicknames for the husband – my boyfriend and I come up with new nicknames for each other weekly but we are still closet-nicknamers. Heaven forbid one of us actually refers to the other by a nickname in public…in front of people.
Tessie – The girl who can drop an “F” bomb in such a poetic way. I adore her critiques of Texas and how can you not enjoy someone who introduces you to the term “Seasonal Cookies” and has a perfect way of describing your gut-wrenching anxiety as “Nervous Tummy”. Her way of describing everything makes me laugh out loud and always, always brightens my day (sorry if that is too close for comfort for the “Emotional Cripple”). Also, I’m also a short one and am always on new health kicks! See – similarities abound!
Favourites: Tessie-isms!
Basically that’s my intro to the things I love about all of your writing and hopefully all of you will become readers of mine as well. Welcome to my life – so, this is it?!
So, this is it?! 